when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
