How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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