Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
