I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize