i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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