Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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