Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
