I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
