my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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