ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
