Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
