She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Randomize
