I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
