I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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