so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
