omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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