: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
