I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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