i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
