It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
