U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
