Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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