Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
false alarm. still invincible.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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