he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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