dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
