Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
