Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
