I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
