At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
