it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
