I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
