...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
