it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
organizing the empties. That sober.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
