We won't sleep together?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
