Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize