You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
