She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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