dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you would pick up someone in the library
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
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