There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Randomize