Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
