I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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