my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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