I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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