chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
50% drunk capacity currently
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
