is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
