you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
