I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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