white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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