we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
