if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
