i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
