You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
high people should be assigned attendants
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize