the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
