Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
