But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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