I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
