i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
is wine microwaveable?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
