I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I feel like a drive thru vagina
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
