Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize