The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
