i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
